big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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