I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
