ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
