the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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