She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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