my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
