Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
