Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
