That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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