coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
