I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
