Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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