i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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