Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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