You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
