Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
