so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
wow bdsm is so cute
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