I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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