Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
