That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
