Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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