Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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