eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need a beard to bite.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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