she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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