I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
