Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
