You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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