hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
