I'm jealous of your bromance
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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