I wish I could punch you in the face.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
