i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
