I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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