That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dignity is for republicans.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
