what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
