And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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