No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
