I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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