Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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