i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wear drunk well.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
