I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
