so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
