If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
