Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
