U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
