where am i from again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Text me some of your sweat
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
