booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
