happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
