I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
3 2 1 whiskey
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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