I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
