i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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